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TMI- My fathers, my mother, and all things in between.

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I wrote this a comment something in Bitch PH.D's blog.

A few parts are changed since references to 'the above poster' won't make sense.

My mom's marriage with my biological father was open, though I didn't know until just a few years ago (or probably didn't remember since in child terms I didn't think it was important).

When my mom told me she kept apologizing in way for the whole thing. I've often wanted to tell her: Mom your marriage didn't failed because you had a open marriage. Your marriage failed because my father was a manic depressive alcoholic, and because you realized no matter how much you loved him that you weren't happy.

Even when they divorced they were honest with me. I felt secure even though mommy and daddy lived in different houses. (Original Text: I agree with the above poster that said other find their childhood more painful than they do.) Another commenter mentioned that people often view the fact that her mother was out of town a lot as that she had a very lonely sad childhood, which she didn't think because mum was always there when she said. My father drank three bottles (and sometimes boxes) of wine a week, and I sometimes had to remind him to feed me when he became really involved in some new article or paper (dad was a Shakespearean English prof). I didn't see anything wrong with it, I didn't know any different and I don't have deep seated trauma because of it. I've had people look at me as if I'd lost my mind because I take those events and his later suicide in such stride.

On the flip side my step/adopted father cheated on my mother for a year lied about it to everyone. To her, me, my brother, and his family. When he moved out of our house (mom refused to sell it, and theirs a whole bunch of bullshit she still as to go through because Texas is a Joint property state. Prenups people, get prenups), it was right before Thanksgiving. He moved right in with the the woman and her son. He still lied about it.

My mom's moved on remarried and very happy. I'm still pissed because he lied. He still lies. I'm dealing with it, but it interesting that something that happened when I was twenty effects me more to this day then anything from my mom and bio-dad's marriage.

I had a strong mother than was open with me and gave me all the support I could ask for.

It's also because of my mother that I'm not married and divorced twice. I learned from her that you don't have to stay in a relationship if your not happy, no matter how much you love the person.

What I mean to say is that your a damn good mama, and don't let anyone tell you differently.
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